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Who I amReside in St. Louis Missouri currently, Lived in California & Colorado.Husband.Father.Pastor.Football Enthusiast.Teacher.Learner.Dreamer.Reader.Friend. [thoughts & comments blogged here are my reflections living life trusting Jesus as God]

Monday, April 23, 2012

My Mask

A few weeks ago our high school ministry had a conversation about wearing Masks & not allowing the "authentic me to be known to anyone".  It was one of those messages that I had to have a gut check on before I preached because it is an area of life that I am constantly being challenge by the Holy Spirit to allow transformation to continually take place.  I've seen over the years a few areas that I tend to wear a mask to hide the real me behind.

Mask of insecurity:
I wrestle often with "not good enough".  I wrestle with the feeling in my marriage, parenting, leading & knowledge that I'm not good enough to do anything.  I know where this mask comes from & when I most often allow it to sneak onto my face.  My mask of insecurity is removed when I am reminded that I am made wonderfully & my soul's my creator-Psalm 139:17

Mask of Leadership Fluff:
Wanna know a secret? Pastors can fake Spiritual leadership.  Every pastor (including myself) I've worked with or have had an in depth conversation with has admitted that they've led from a place of fluff.  There are seasons where life, stress, home-life, personal struggles, marital strains or laziness can weigh on pastors.  And when that weight hits, pastors lead from a place of Spiritual Fluffy statements.  The fluff isn't heresy or leading people to a life of sin, but is a place of comfort & not a place of intentional leadership.  It isn't intentional because their authentic/consistent time with Jesus is minimal.  Personally they are not growing or allowing themselves to be stretched & there is a lack of vibrant leadership.  I am reminded this mask isn't needed when I lead in reflection of Nehemiah 8.

Mask of Fear:
I don't hate many things, but I HATE being wrong or making a mistake in specific personal areas of life.  Often that HATE for being wrong or making a mistake forces me into a place of fear.  My fear mask makes me feel like the puppy who just peed on the living room carpet & is cowering in the corner waiting to get punished.  Leading & living from behind this mask has never nor ever will be healthy.  From behind this mask I don't think clearly, my thinking process is selfish & I worry more than enjoy living.
This mask falls off when I am reminded that God has given me a spirit of power, love & self-control-2 Timothy 1:7

So there you go, there are my admissions of the mask I wear.  What are yours?

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