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Who I amReside in St. Louis Missouri currently, Lived in California & Colorado.Husband.Father.Pastor.Football Enthusiast.Teacher.Learner.Dreamer.Reader.Friend. [thoughts & comments blogged here are my reflections living life trusting Jesus as God]

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Butting Heads Part 1

What happens when you don't see eye to eye with specific people?

For myself a myriad of emotions, reactions & conversations can take place.  Lately I've found myself in several conversations with other leaders and friends who have been facings similar incidents of conflict.  So here is my take on a few ways to deal with people you may butt heads with.

The "I know I am right" person.

This type of person truly believes that there way of thinking is the ONLY way to do anything.  Some people may refer to this as "my way or the highway".  Now if this person is your spouse or your boss...well then your up a creek.

However, if this person fits almost any other category in your life then here's a few suggestions.

1- Let them talk.  Give them a space to share their thoughts, but not a platform.  Allow them to be heard by yourself in regard to the specific topic or issue that is of their concern without broadcasting it to an audience that doesn't need to be involved.  I've found that most people who feel they are always "right" will actually acknowledge they may not be right but their way of living is all they know & they aren't willing to accept change. Hence step two.

2- Remind them that you are different than they are.  You can respect their ideas, but you don't process life the way they do.  You may be ok with change or a different approach, but it doesn't make one person smarter than the other.  Remind them you're leading a specific area, initiative or collaboration of some sort based off experience, training & sound evaluation.   

3- Admit your faults.  If they are looking for a fault in your leadership trust me they'll find it.  This type of personality will always see the wrong in others & be willing to point it at.  When they do, check your pride & acknowledge your faults.  You can't take it as an attack unless they really turn it into an attack.  Your as human as they are, just don't let your pride cloud your judgement in these moments & go on the defensive.

4- Move forward.  Don't allow their gripe or complaints to monopolize your time.  You really do have better than to do then evaluate who is right or wrong.

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