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Who I amReside in St. Louis Missouri currently, Lived in California & Colorado.Husband.Father.Pastor.Football Enthusiast.Teacher.Learner.Dreamer.Reader.Friend. [thoughts & comments blogged here are my reflections living life trusting Jesus as God]

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Married with Children Part 1

Remember that terrible show that FOX showed called Married with Children?  It aired from 1987-1997 and it was a terrible show.  The show communicated horrid values about marriage, men and women with their roles in a family, sex, work ethic and a whole lot of dysfuntionality.  Yep I watched that show all through High School & if you are my age you saw episodes of it yourself and you probably thought what I thought....."I hope that doesn't become me!"

Kim and I have worked hard in our marriage & our family structure to have a healthy relationships.  That hard work takes daily attention that culminates in weekly energies to create yearly momentum so you don't waste the relationships.  So take these next few blog posts as for what they are worth to you.  But I am going to be a little vulnerable & peel back some layers of our lives to share with who ever reads this blog why I love our family & why I think it works well.

1- Communication
Since the beginning of Kim and I knowing each other as friends as 16 year olds in high school we've ALWAYS been able to talk to each other about anything.  When we were dating seriously on the road to marriage we both had GOOD COMMUNICATION as a written value we wanted to hold as a high value for our relationship. Communication has been a key ingredient that has helped us throughout our entire relationship both good & bad seasons.  Without kids in the marriage & with kids in the marriage. We even have clear & good communication when we argue & fight.
So how do we make this value a reality?  Between phone calls, text messages, iChat conversations & now with our new iPhone's FACETIME conversations we are constantly talking.  It does feel odd to me if an hour of my day goes by without Kim and I touching base through some sort of communication.
However I'll be the first to admit tho, that I can falter on this area of marriage fast than she can.  I can get busy or pre-occupied in certain settings where talking with her is a "I'll get to it later" type thought.  I've had to learn to check those thoughts, fight them & go call my wife to be sure I don't keep her out of the loop of my life.

2- Dreams
My wife & I, and now also our boys, love to dream about "What if...." statements.

What if we traveled the world?  What if we only ate french fries for the rest of our lives?  What if we moved to Africa?  What if we adopted kids to add to our family?  What if God asks us to move?  What if we owned our own business?  What if we worked as a janitor & moved to San Diego to serve with some friends in ministry?

We dream & try to dream big.  We don't really dream ridiculous dreams like I wanna win the lottery {we've talked about it, but so have you} or I want to own a Beverly Hills mansion.  But we dream about things we can do that we can work towards.  We dream about areas of life that intrigue us, challenge us and even create vulnerability in us.  Dreams reflect heart and I love to know my wife & kids hearts.  I want us as a family to continue to dream about the "What if..." moments in life.  I want our dreams to be guided by God & I want our actions steps to some of these dreams to follow closely behind!  
We talk about our dreams or ideas out loud and I LOVE IT.  I love processing & sharing these intimate sides to our hearts or yearnings together as a family because then as a family we can come along side each other to see how these dreams can become a reality!

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