"Teach me Your will for you are my God. May your gentle Spirit lead me upon level ground"
As I've prayed this verse I have had to ask myself if I trust God?
- Do I trust God to teach me?
- Do I trust God that he'll lead me?
- Do I trust God that His Spirit will lead me?
- Do I trust God that what He wants to do in my life is better than my own plan?
I wanna trust God. I wanna be able to follow His direction for my life. If I believe He is God [Creator of the Universe, Savior, Divine, Holy, etc] then I have no place to be able to argue or fight against Him.
What makes trust hard is the day-to-day life circumstances I have. Money or lack of it for various life desires, questions of the future, needs to be a better husband & father, desire to lead as a pastor more effectively and to pursue life with Christ with a relentlessness of the gospel.
I get side tracked, I ain't gonna lie, I get hazy in my attention to the bigger picture. I know God is bigger than any of my concerns, worries, lacks or wants. I know God can handle all of that...but again I need to trust His Spirit in the details.
I think [a serious contemplation I have] that for most people trust is conditional. We trust those around us when they come through for us, care for us, don't share secrets and in a sense "prove" their loyalty to us. I think we treat God the same. When God comes through for us, we trust Him. When God takes His time or doesn't come through for us the way WE SEE FIT then we don't trust Him.
I am confident that we need to trust God because He is God and is in motion. He has a plan, He is moving, He is in control. If I trust Him, I will see His moving.
I am in a place of need to be humble enough to do the details of my day to day life. Be responsible for what I know I have to do. I have to love my wife with a sacrificial love. I know I have to train my sons in the way of the Scriptures. I know as a pastor I need to shepherd the found & pursue the lost....everything else is up for grabs.
So that all brings me to these questions I am wrestling with;
- What can I NOT WORRY about today because God's care for it is greater than mine?
- What is God asking me to follow His will on today?
- If I don't feel "on level ground" then am I following God's Spirit?
- How much time am I giving to talking with God over worrying?