Am I Where God Wants Me To Be??
This is a question i have been wrestling a lot with lately in my own quiet times as well as daily journeying through life.
There seem to be many times that I curiously ponder this thought. Sometimes it is during a conversation, sometimes it is when meeting with a student, sometimes it happens when i choose to stop at one gas station over another. It feels very random & yet feels very legitimate at the same time.
I have always felt strongly that for me to be in Full Time Ministry as a Pastor I need to know that God has "called" me to a specific location to do a specific kingdom task. There is a sense that I want to be pulled & pushed by God through life. I want to be in tune with His voice so i know what direction to take. I want to depend on His guidance for my marriage, fatherhood, pastoral role and everything in between.
But I also can't help but think that at times i might not be exactly where God wants me to be. I might be in the vicinity, but not precisely where He desires. Now him being God he still uses me while "in the vicinity" but my impact isn't as in depth. Now I am not saying that God's moving is completely up to me, He is God. He can do & will do whatever he chooses. But scripturally we see God moves mightily through men, and women, that are willing to submit to His direction & guidance in specific settings [Jonah, Elisha, Paul all come to mind].
Many are the plans in a human heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
This verse seems to be stuck with me in this thought process. I know God will always prevail, but I never want to be the person who would be more of a wedge than a conduit for God to move in & through. I don't believe a mortal man can really get in God's way (He wouldn't be God if that would be the case), but I do believe that people can grieve His heart cause we aren't humble enough to put our desires aside and pursue His.
That goes for living setting, marriage setting, fatherhood role, pastoral setting & everything in between. I am confident that I will never completely understand how God works, Ecclesiastes 11:5 confirms that. But I am sure that I have been used by God & those moments are ones that i relish.
So where does all this put me........still thinking AM I WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO BE??
***I didn't want to get into my deep theological stances on my understanding of God's sovereignty, control & involvement in life. All of this could be unpacked more, but just wanted to share some of my cranial thinkings