Imitation Kills Innovation

Imitation tends to kill innovation.  Being a copy cat takes less energy than allowing the space & time to create with originality.

Unique. Original. Creative. One of a kind. 

Often we applaud these words and adjectives.  Even if we can’t afford the price tag on these items we still highlight them.

But not all of us are artists, wood workers or able to run a DIY website.  But what makes PINTEREST & DIY websites successful is it gives people an idea of what they are capable of doing with some instruction & inspiration.  Some people need just a little kick of confidence to tackle a creative project.

Originality allows people, organizations, ministries, sports teams & families to thrive instead of just exist.

People need to know that there energies are not just about “how things have always just been done”.  People need to know that who they are adds to what they are a part of in a unique way.  

People...I hope you do know that your own energies and creativity are worth testing and trying out.

When it comes to leadership if we are always just copying and never taking the time to be innovative than we really aren’t leading, we are just managing other peoples visions.

I'd rather lead and create than copy and manage some else's creativity.

5 Hours in a Deer Stand

Wednesday I got an invite to go with some friends deer hunting & man I couldn't wait.  It's been a 7 years since I've gotten a chance to go deer hunting and I was anxious like a kid on Christmas Eve at this opportunity.

One of our adult mentors in our student ministry his family owns land that has been worked to be VERY viable habitat for conservation.  They've plotted their stands intentionally and to be honest put in a GREAT spot!  The weather was a solid 28 degrees with 15mph winds out of the south.

We hiked in at 5am, got set into our stands by 545-6am and did what all hunters do...waited. Now I did go through my mental checklist to be sure I had everything in place for that 1 moment of action, but while waiting I did the easiest thing I could think of doing, praying.

For 5 hours I was uninterrupted, alone, focussed & had nothing else to do that would distract me.  I prayed for my wife, kids, ministry I'm leading, extended family, myself, my boss, my new co-workers, my sons' future wives, my friends on the other end of the farm hunting that day....I can't tell you how refreshing that was.  I even asked myself, "When was the last time I put myself in a position to be that focussed and have that much opportunity to just sit & pray with Jesus?"
Answer: it's been a while.

Ministry Leaders, lets face it.  We skimp to often on the necessities.  We skimp on the intentional focussed times of prayer, reading & mediation.  Leaders like action & results and all of those things are not results based activities.  They are character shaping moments.  They all compile into long term transformation but not immediate results.
Those 5 hours in that deer stand felt very fluid & am quite surprised it really even was that long.  I'm almost tempted to go sit in that stand again just to be able to pray with interruptions!

As far as hunting went, I did see one doe about 640 in the morning but wanted to sit on a buck.  I didn't see another deer until I was walking back to my truck and I spooked the buck before I could get a shot off.  I guess it'll be one more year before I get my deer.

 

Youth Pastors, We are Being Watched!

Youth Pastors here is an honest truth all of us can embrace. What we do & what we say is only a part of our ministry influence. How we act at all times, in all ways, will also be noticed!  
How we drive, How we treat waitresses/waiters, How we talk on our phone, How we work or the effort we put forth, How we speak to other adults, our whole life is being watched.

This past week I received a note from a former student that blessed me. It blessed me because of the detail the student put into the note as well as the implications of the students life.  Here is one line from the note;

I saw how you treated Kim and your boys, you loved them and never hurt them. In the beginning that didn't really matter to me because sometimes families are different behind closed doors. But your kids weren't scared of you and neither was Kim.

To be honest it blew me away that how I treated my wife and kids was such an impact for this student. I've always tried to be conscious of how I treat my family when I am around students to be the same that I do privately. I believe in consistency and authenticity.  
I'm thankful that modeling to students what a healthy marriage can look like has helped many see their is hope for what they want out of life. I'm grateful that how I interact with my own children is noticed and can be an encouragement to other students as well.

I needed this encouragement this week but more importantly I'm grateful that this student is following Jesus. Continually healing from some serious life hurt & not quitting on pursuing health.
The last line of their note that brought some mist to my eyes.

I am so grateful for all you have done. For not abusing my trust, for helping me find God, to LISTENING to me, for caring about me. Back then I had no one, not even my mom. Student Ministry gave me a safe place and without it I know that I would not have made it. So once again, thank you

Youth Pastors & ministry leaders do not forget that who we are is watched at a great detail that just what we say.   

Scroll Of Humanity

The scroll of the History of Humanity is unrolled and written with mystery, love, romance, scorn, pain, evil, redemption, legacies, birth & death as it is all woven into one inked line of universal truth—PEOPLE EXIST TO LIVE!

Humanity is special, unique, divinely made, worthy, fragile, emotive, scared, timid, bold & beautiful.  It is full of wonders based on ingenuity, creativity & worship.  We don not just want to be robotic repetitions of rhyme but we, people, humans, are individuals that believe in creating something.  

Something that moves.  Something that gives freedom. Something that helps us feel a part of a bigger story.

Over the course of history those small created somethings turn into culture shifting somethings.

From medicine to industry, textiles to legalities,education to sport, culinary and cultural.

Humanity is more than just social pockets of people diversely sprinkled over thousands of square miles of earth.

Humanity is Human and to be Human is to be Beautiful.

Beauty draws what is around it to lean in closer.  

To hold our breath, listen intently and observe closely.  

We do not want to miss anything that could stir in our hearts an awakening to continue to pull and push us towards living life fully.

I am thankful to be a word etched in this lineage of human history.  I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to add & create something to allow others to live and embrace life

Time Off Highlights

Top aspects so far of the last two weeks of not having a job:

• Extended Reading & Writing times
• Taking my sons to school & picking them up
• Lunch dates with my wife
• Not "having" to check email
• Taking the dog to the park in the middle of the day
• Thinking, thinking & more thinking
• Getting to-do lists done!
• Sorting through boxes & cabinets we haven't look at in 6 years

Good Bye Doesn't Always Include Tears.

This past Sunday, March 2nd was the last night I had with my adult volunteer team & students whom I've had the joy of pastoring for the last 6 years of ministry.  One of the leaders gathered words the students would use to describe me. The words were hung around the room and that was very filling for my heart & soul to see and read.  I'm grateful for the love and care they've extended to me and humbled that Jesus allowed me to pastor them through many aspects of their life.

Baptisms

I love Baptisms.  I love seeing students come to life choice of saying yes to Jesus as Lord & Savior of their life and I love when they make the choice to get baptized.  To make a declaration of their faith of an inward commitment and making an outward expression of that faith.  These moments are great reminders for a students walk through life as well as a chance for a faith community to celebrate the decisions the students are making.

I also really enjoy what living in Southern California allows us to do and partake in beach baptisms and on my last official day at Mission Hills Church we had three student baptisms that were a thrill to be a part of!

David is a freshman who has always kept student ministry "interesting" since his nickname has been 21 for his 21 questions he asks about anything & everything.

Lauren is a senior who is heading off to Stanford this fall.  From a student leader, leading worship & now my connection to get tickets to Stanford football games she's been a huge blessing to the student ministry!

Kelli is the 3rd girl from the Bueher family that has been through student ministry.  Kelli has a servants heart and a leaders voice.  It was a privilege to baptize her with her dad eric who is a talented artist.

That One Message

Sitting in a room of friends or former college roommates and it won't take long before a story is shared about someone doing some zany stunt or a lame idea that was attempted.  Laughter, inside jokes and exaggerations are all apart of these moments.
That same action occurs when I talk with students about the memories they have of being a part of student ministry.  They share stories about activities, camps, late night shenanigans pranking friends.  The memories they often have are attached to an activity.
I've been in youth ministry 14 years.  I have no clue how many times I've spoken with the messages, small group lessons, one on one conversations, camps, retreats, mission trips or leadership trainings that I've lead.  But I do know I've always wanted to speak truth to students for their life & their soul whenever I have the chance.  I value being able to point students to the redemptive and transforming message of the cross with every chance I have.

But my experience has shown me that students tend to remember more of what I do than what I say.  My life has been observed, my marriage has been scrutinized and my parenting has been inspected.  If I wasn't careful 14 years ago when I began student ministry I could have bought the lie that what I do matters more than what I say, but I can't do that.  I can't do that because both my actions & my words are valuable.

I have told my team, volunteers, other youth workers and even reminded myself that teenagers will watch close how we live pursuing Jesus and they will match up our actions with what we say about following Jesus.

This past Sunday I made a joke as an illustration in my final message that after 6 years nobody really remembers the messages I've shared.  It was simple joke said subtly with the only purpose to trigger a cheap sarcastic chuckle.  However a high school junior in the ministry took offense to the joke.

Here is the picture he sent me on Tuesday.

Here is text that he sent with this picture and it is quoted below;

This is a picture of the lessons from Sunday nights & Small groups that I keep by my bed that made a difference in my life.  There is more, but this is all I could fit under my bed.  I just thought you should know that what you have said has made a difference in my life.

Youth workers both how we live & what we say is being watched and listened to by students.  We have to be diligent, consistent and remind ourselves often that the Gospel matters.

Don't believe Lies

I often am encouraging students, parents, spouses, friends and even strangers to "Do not buy that lie".  This phrase has implications on several aspects in life depending on the circumstances we are talking about.

• Do not buy the lie that you have to get into Stanford to achieve a great college education
• Do not buy the lie that you have to be popular to be effective.
• Do not buy the lie that being a "man" is about being a jerk or a womanizer
• Do not buy the lie that, "sugar free" is really healthier for you.
• Do not buy the lie that marriage is supposed to be a fairy tale
• Do not buy the lie that to be a Christian means that life is perfectly easy to figure out
• Do not buy the lie that being a size 4 is prettier than a size 12

We as people often but into the lies we see & hear around us when we don't stop and think about what we are encountering.  When we give up that a healthier marriage, more effective parenting or some hard work won't pay off.  If we pursue life with status quo instead of some intentional actions and purpose then we buy the lie that our lives will just exist instead of thrive.

I followed Derrick Coleman's story while he was in college, check out this video that is worth the watch of how one man didn't buy the lie that he couldn't enjoy life the way he wanted to.

Sports Fan or Fanatic

College Bowl Season is over.
NFL playoffs have 1 more week.
And then the Superbowl will culminate another football season.
However Basketball is in season, Hockey is in full swing & the Winter Olympics are closing in for the world.

All sports at any level has two types of people watching them.
Fans & Fanatics.

Fanatics are those people who swear their 2-11 team is the best on the planet.  Fanatics are more than armchair quarterbacks they believe they are the teams PR director, player developer & next assistant head coach.
Fanatics will also skip their child's birth to watch a game.  
Fanatics would rather be lifetime pass holders to Mobile RV USA just to have season tickets.  
Fanatics love posting comments on sports articles and they make regular appearances on their local radio call in shows.
Fanatics do crazy stunts in the name of their team including murder or damage to property.
(read this) or  (read this)

Fanatics have a hard time keeping perspective.

Fan's are ok admitting their team sucks…even if it is the 10th year in a row.  
Fans can give the opposing teams fans a hi-five for a job well done.  
Fans enjoy the game itself more than just their team.  
Fans are upset if their team loses, but it doesn't force them into a week of despair. 
Fan's realize there is more to life than just this one game or team.
For many people it's a matter of perspective.  Perspective allows you to be honest with reality.  Perspective has common sense as a thread throughout your actions as well as decisions.  Perspective allows you to enjoy what you enjoy to a deeper sense.

In certain aspects in life I want commitment, dedication & people invested to the things that are most important.
But if we list our values or the things we hold most dear to us [marriage, parenting, children, faith, etc.] would sports really enter the top 5? Top 10?
I'm okay being called "just a fan" and truth be told when my team was playing a playoff game that I could've watched I made the choice to be with family and away from a TV.

We had an event Friday night to celebrate the Christmas season and one of the challenges was for students to imitate me and post it on Instagram. Meet Noah. Noah is a student I've been mentoring for 5 years and i don't know if he nailed this or not, but it sure did make me laugh!

Empower Students to Live Life like's it's worth it

I'm  a sucker for a good inspirational Christmas story or act of giving.  Some days it won't take much for me to even get misty eyed by seeing or hearing an act of love.  One reason why SoulPancake & Kid President have taken off is because it takes the compelling joy of a 11 year old to communicate with the world what we want for our kids--Love, passion, laughter & honesty.

I've never met a student that doesn't want to laugh, celebrate life and have a purpose to why they are living on this earth.  It's innate in us as humans to want our lives to matter and mean something.  But often what I see communicated to teens & kids are messages of "life sucks, enjoy it now cause later all hell breaks loose"

I think it's a terrible lie we let younger people buy into.

I know my vantage point is skewed because I get to see teenagers actually want their world to be lived in a way that is worth it but honestly they don't know how to "just make it happen."  
They need us as adults to first of all model this if we believe it to be true.  A lot is caught and not always taught with kids.  Teens are growing up in a world where adults are showing that life isn't worth living.  That needs to change and the only way it'll change if adults model healthy lives of purpose.

Secondly they need adults to help empower them that we'll partner with them to create a world where this can be fun.  If we believe that life is worth living for then we need to link arms with teenagers to help recreate a new culture they'll embrace as well as want to be a part of.  

Boys & Bikes

I have many joys as a dad, but something I really love is going for a bike ride with my sons.  We usually grab our bikes to make a quick trip to the grocery store or Target.  Starbucks & Yogurt-land can also be a motivator to go for a bike ride as well.

Going for a bike ride with a 10 & 9 year isn't always a relaxing or cruising experience.  In fact it hardly can be expected to be.  The bike ride is more of a, "How can we create a race every chance possible"?  

It's comical to see them jockeying for leader position racing around the cul-de-sac.  The mad dash to see who gets to the cross walk first to push the little "please let me walk button".  Then there is always the question of who will try to take a short cut through some shrubs that may or may not be full of thorns.

Really for me is riding behind both of them just watching them be boys.  To see them smile, laugh & embrace being together.  I love to see them enjoy being brothers and step into this moment where every moment has a tangible memorable sense to it.  I love watching my boys embrace their childhood and truly enjoy life together!

Dads, engage something active with your kids.  Live life with them, notice how they make choice, smile with them while having fun.  We don't know the memories we are creating for them but we need to be intentionally to give them moments where childhood can be tasted and not observed.

Rich Life

I love interacting with people who have a huge passion to make a difference in the world.

I met Rich April of 2012.  He was the installer that was joining us on our UGANDA trip last summer.  Rich's passion was using his love of architecture & desire to help those in need to partner with Kids Around the World to install playgrounds all over the world.

Every conversation I had with Rich leading up to our trip was about his excitement partnering with our team to achieve something together.  Rich was a soft spoken, stoic individual that had a great sense of humor.  Rich shared a passion and love for life that was compelling.  One night in Uganda Rich and I talked for almost 7 hours about life, marriage, parenting, who is Jesus and he shared a lot of his dreams.  Rich had an optimism about where life was taking him and at the time had a new desire to understand more of the story of Jesus.

Two weeks ago Rich passed away while on another build in Zambia.  This is a huge loss for Rich's wife, daughter & the world. Rich created smiles & life for hundreds if not thousands of people in Africa, South America, Central America, Europe & the US.  I'm grateful to have shared conversation, coffee & an amazing life experience with Rich.

Marriage & Family---Post 1000

I love my wife.  I love my marriage.  I love working, nurturing & fighting to keep it all healthy and in a Jesus honoring place!

This past weekend was so fun doing all of those things.

Friday I took Kim out for a surprise breakfast on the beach.  The place has a gorgeous view and the food is really decent too!  

After breakfast we picked up our packets for our COLOR RUN the next day and then I took her shopping to get her something she's been wanting for a long time.  
The whole day was full of talking, sharing, dreaming, flirting and following up on some deeper conversations that have been ongoing for a few months now.  It was enriching & ver fulfilling for me as I had my wife's undivided attention and we were able to talk intently about a lot of things that were critical for us.

Saturday we woke everyone up early and participated in a 5k Color Run, http://thecolorrun.com.  This event was so enjoyable for all of us.  It was something Kim really wanted to do the year before but we missed the registration deadline.  Our boys enjoyed it, I enjoyed and my wife was smiling the whole time!

I've realized something about myself and marriage, perspective is everything and agenda's are destructive.  If I have an agenda about something in my marriage than it is ME centered.  When things are ME centered I'm coming from a selfish angle.  But when my perspective is on caring for Kim and the boys I found myself more relaxed, less impatient and trying to serve them so they feel cared for.  

If you are a husband serve your wife by dying daily to your own ego & pride.  If you are a father help model for your sons what it means to be able to lead a family with humility & service.  If you have daughters help them see the type of man that allows a woman to thrive and live with freedom to be herself.

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Naked Truth Series

Every year there are three series I absolutely am thrilled to teach to high school students; Identity series about who they are in Christ and the masks we wear,  Redemptive work of the grace of the Gospel, and a series on relationships and sex.  Each year these three series bring out so many conversations that seem to be huge fruit opportunities for our youth leaders.

The past three weeks our high school ministry has been walking through our series on relationships.  We called it the NAKED TRUTH.  Each week we "uncovered" a reality about relationships.

Week 1--The reality that our relationship with Christ will guide any & every relationship we have.  If we can't step into a healthy & authentic pursuit of Jesus as our first love any relationship we have will never be able to fill us or complete us.
2 Corinthians 5:14-17 & Colossians 2:6-8 were our foundation for the evening.  This was a foundation move because the rest of the series had to reflect back to this reality.

Week 2--The reality that Romance & Chivalry are not dead...just lost.  This night we focussed on our romance & Chivalry needs to be a part of our lives and not just when we date.  But how we communicate to the opposite gender, how we treat them, think of them, notice them & protect them.  We encouraged & challenged students to not just think of themselves but live out their faith [Philippians 2:4] and how to embrace Romance & Chivalry that we see reflected in the Song of Solomon story.  We challenged the guys to be MEN & not BOYS and also for girls to set the standards they'd really want in the guy of their dreams.

We used this video in the evening as an opener and it had a great response to it



Week 3--The Reality of Emotional & Physical Consequences
We talked about the
Emotional Consequences that Hurt,
The Physical consequences that hurt,
The Emotional Consequences that are healthy
The Physical Consequences that are healthy.

This night was summed up into two key words, Boundaries & Self-Control.  Song of Solomon 2:15 & Proverbs 5:18-19 were key verses and we referred to Ephesians 4.  A highlight was reflecting to the students the length of the marriages represented in the room by our mentors.  The shortest active marriage, mine, was 13 years and the longest active marriage is 25 years.  Students actually celebrated that moment when we used it as an illustration.

This video was used & again it had a great response



This series created many conversations and "I've never thought of that before".  And to be honest that is often the goal I have, to create as many "I've never thought of that before" moments as possible.  But in those moments to ask them to reflect on What Jesus has to say about the topic of discussion.

I also have a goal, to share as many illustrations from my own life and marriage that reflect healthy and pursuing Jesus.  I am too often reminded that our student ministry may be the only reflection many students will have in this topic & reality in life.

The Journey not the destination

I've been thinking lately about the unique opportunities each of us has every day to interact with people.  But many of us will NOT take the opportunity to engage in a discussion or step out of a comfort zone because we are either too busy or it's a challenge to do so.  I've been in several conversations with former & current students who are having to make choices that are going to change the trajectory of their life.  Hearing their heart, hearing their anguish, hearing their excitement, their nervousness, their hope i've couldn't help but keep two things in perspective.

1--Being fully present to give them someone to talk with, cry with & pray with has allowed me to have a voice in their life to help them see what direction Jesus may be directing them.

2- Is this poem

  

Robert Frost (1874–1963).  The Road Not Taken 1920

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.