"Dad did you remember..."

As Cody & Cole have grown up they have moved from the little boy ball of fun into young boy who needs a little more adventure with life and opportunities.  And now growing into young man phase where their world perspective is enlarging.  Those early phases & changes have given a lot of room for grace with my memory because their memory was fairly minimal if it didn't involve where did I put my race car or stuffed animal.

I used to have a steal trap.  Seriously I didn't have to write down assignments, work schedules or any of my college syllabuses.  I could read & retain information from books and often even remember specific page numbers of a book that held key points.  Then we had kids.  I know I didn't birth them or go through the physically and bio-chemical changes but my mind has been impacted.

My memory retention has fallen upon me relying on a calendar on my phone & writing things down in my Moleskin.  The hard part is when I'm having a passing conversation with my sons in the car, grocery store or on a walk and I tell them "yes we'll do that later" or "Dad will look into that" and I never write it down I'm in trouble.  They now remember those conversation & call me on it. I have to confess I haven't done what was promised yet and i see the look of disappointment in their eyes or frustration.

I hate it.  Seriously, I do.  I don't use the word hate with many categories, but I hate letting my kids down especially when a simple task is what I forget.

This has revealed to me how important and incredibly impacting it is to my sons when i do remember specific requests they make that I commit to.  It's a way that I can show my sons love & intentionality. But the deeper truth is when my kids feel noticed by my intentional actions.  It also helps me process how much I commit to before I make a promise with them.  I want to win the world with them, but not every season allows that.  I know their "time management" is through the eyes of a 9-10 year old, but it does allow the beginning of some conversations about what is realistic.

We can empower & nurture deep long lasting relationships with our children by noticing what they notice.  Remembering the intentional details that they value.  Giving them the encouragement for them to know Mom and Dad have their back!