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Who I amReside in St. Louis Missouri currently, Lived in California & Colorado.Husband.Father.Pastor.Football Enthusiast.Teacher.Learner.Dreamer.Reader.Friend. [thoughts & comments blogged here are my reflections living life trusting Jesus as God]

Friday, February 24, 2012

Butting Heads part 2

Ok how about the other ALPHA MALE/LEADER in the room?

I am a TYPE A person.  I like to lead, take charge, make decisions, execute my decisions & live or die with the consequences.  I'm a rare breed, but I am not the only one out there.  I often find other leaders like myself and NO they all aren't men.  I often find that we tend to butt heads with other leaders like ourselves.  So how do we handle those run ins?

1- Don't pee on every tree.  ALPHA LEADERS like their territory, but being territorial usually is a mindset that feeds off emotion & not reality.  If I get bent out of shape cause another leader came in to "my space" & made some decisions that I didn't like that last thing I should do is get territorial, but it tends to be a first response.  I've had to learn to stop, breathe and go have a conversation.

2- Talk.  There needs to be a chain of command and yes several TYPE A/APLHA leaders can learn to work alongside and even submit to one another in a healthy environment.  If my "territory" feels invaded the best thing I can do is have an adult conversation with the other leader.  We both need to be heard, we both need to share our vision or reasons and we both need to be challenged.  We need to be able to not just act like adults, but lead like adults.

3- Create a strategy.  I've seen ALPHA leaders feed off each others energy & actual spur each other to make great leadership decisions.  But you need a strategy as to how the space, system or work setting can be shared.  You both actually need a little territory to claim here so your energies are put into moving an aspect of the system forward.  Your "job" needs your energies & when you know your role working towards the end allows you to be excited for team collaboration.

4- Celebrate the wins together & don't degrade each other in the loss.  When we win we all feel on cloud 9...when we lose we wanna place a blame.  Enjoy the victory but don't rip each other in a defeat.  This is where care for the person MUST outweigh care for the individual accolades or survival.  My own life learning shows me that I really like to find fault in others for a defeat, but I learn more when I evaluate myself in a defeat.

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