Big word i know. But i think this is a word that seems to be one of those "wounds" that can burn deep into my soul.
Insecurity as a husband, father, friend, youth pastor & my list definitely can go on. I feel that insecurity was a similar feeling that many ancestors had throughout scripture, church history and every crevice in between.
For me it starts with something gone wrong. An argument, a mis-understanding, a failed youth small group/event/program, a mis-read direction & again the list can go on.
Then it hits, "You/I am not good enough!". Ever slammed your finger with a hammer? You know what happened. You know that throbbing feeling. ANd no matter how hard you squeeze your thumb the pain lingers. Well the pain of insecurity lingers as well. For hours, days, months & even years.
I have never found a cure all treatment for this. Not even prayer helps at times. The only thing i want to do is hide. Well that is it, i don't hide. I face the rest of the day, month or year. I face it with the best i know how. I try to not repeat the situation so those emotions come at a greater pace. I also try and learn from my mistakes & others that may have led to that feeling of insecurity. I think for me i look at Christ & for me to be able to see him deal with the insecurities of his discipeles & the crowd by addressing the issues head on is the only answer i feel comfortable with so much of the time.
I know i have a lot of insecurity right now; i mean why else such a post? But i also have the mindset to face each day slowly & patiently.
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